Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
