Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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