Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
it glows. i had to have it.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
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