my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
It's official drugs can't kill me
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
