his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
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