Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
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