worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
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