what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
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