If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
