Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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