My hair reeks of homosexuality.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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