So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
