Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
