Fine. I'll sleep in my office
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
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