There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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