I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
