You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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