her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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