I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Randomize
