I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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