We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
