hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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