Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Randomize
