it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
