So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Randomize
