The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
