What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
