Tell her she can't have a vagina
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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