wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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