I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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