I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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