Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
