Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
