And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
