I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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