someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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