If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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