apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
