Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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