i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
