I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
