i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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