i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
