How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
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