I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
