I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
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