there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
