We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
