Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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