What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Randomize
