I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
