HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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