Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Randomize
