Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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