...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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