Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Randomize
