she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
