He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Randomize
