It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
