he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
should my penis look like a turkey
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
