dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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