you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
