Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
