VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
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