I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
4 words: hood of his car
i just sent this text using only my big toe
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
