I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
did i walk over a car last night?
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
