Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
No subtext here. People are naked.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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