I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
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